When we feel rejected then this is a great opportunity to see the extent
we are seeking validation in an another person or a community. Why do
we seek validation externally? Because in some way we feel a deficiency
or lacking in ourselves. To see this requires great honesty and a deep
inward looking.
Our initial instinct in the face of rejection
may be defensive. We may reason to ourselves why the source of rejection
has failed to see the merit in us or in what we have offered. This is
normal and it may feel totally justifiable. However, if we patiently
open to the feeling of rejection with curiosity, genuinely wishing to
see the entire process we may actually start to feel a sense of relief
and a movement of attention from outside to inside. If now the worst has
happened and we have been rejected we can now take a little rest from
seeking approval and ask ourselves in this moment - what is really
lacking here? Now that we have been rejected, what is now become
deficient in the reality of this moment? Is this moment not a totality?
While we are hoping for validation from others, how can we see the true
totality of our own whole nature as it unfolds in this moment? The very
act of reaching outside ourselves for validation simultaneously
reinforces the belief we can only be completed by something external and
our own inherent perfect nature becomes something we only hear about in
the words of others.
Life is amazing. Life always gives us
precisely what we need. Rejection for everyone is inevitable as long as
we seek what is true outside of ourselves. When life slaps us when we
are hoping to be appraised as special, it is a great gift and reality
check. Life is saying - just stop and look at your wonderful reality
arising right now - Look, your own perfect nature is shining in
everything - Is life not already giving us everything we need to be
content? Our reality is not sometimes more or less full of reality. It
is always complete, always whole. Why look to another, whether a teacher
or student to tell us that the story we create about being incomplete
is valid?